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Being Flexible: Children at Weddings
By Cornelia Powell | November 9, 2008
Little boys seemed to be everywhere at my nephew Matthew and Lindsay’s outdoor October wedding. Her two nephews — Eamon, six, and Brendan, four — and Matthew’s one and a half year-old nephew, Harrison, especially enjoyed the lawn’s open space to run and play.
Toddler Harrison needed a bit more “looking after,” although I understand that the bride told his “handlers” to just let him loose during the wedding ceremony. Lindsay said she was fine if he wandered in and out of the altar setting where his dad and granddad stood as part of the wedding party.
Now that’s a woman who is flexible at the very heart of her being! We tend to think weddings (like most of life) have to follow some planned script. Life can get much simpler and full of ease when we’re willing to “go with flow” — and having children in or at a wedding is a great teacher for flexibility.
It’s not about “anything goes” as in not making any plans nor do I mean being irresponsible. However, it is about “letting go” of our fixed notions and opinions that don’t serve the reality at hand . . . like if things don’t go exactly “as planned!”
Here’s an excerpt of an essay, “The Way of Children,” that I wrote several years ago for my work in progress, the Weddings of Grace book:
“If you have children in your wedding, be aware that they don’t always follow the scripted program and may follow their own imaginative drummer. Sometimes children get scared and start ‘acting out’ which can be distracting; but then at times their actions just get absorbed into the planned protocol. The unexpected delight of what children say and do can be charming, becoming a special remembrance of a wedding.
“With children in the wedding party, the key is to be flexible; let go of expectations and be open for surprise. And don’t worry, no one can completely steal the show — the bride always shines!”
I like that: “Be open for surprise!” I notice that synonyms for flexibility — supple, adaptable, accommodating, open — are all characteristics of people who are a pleasure to be around. And they are all great words to practice being whether you’re planning or attending a wedding — or just living life on a regular day!
Since life is very good at throwing us surprises….I’m practicing being more flexible!
Love. Listen. Let go.
. . . with love from Cornelia
Topics: For Brides, Inspiration, Relationship, Remembrances, Women's Notes |