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Celebrating the Skin We’re In!
By Cornelia Powell | May 24, 2009
Hmmmm. Someone having “issues” with their looks or body is not untypical, but it does seem the phenomenon became “pandemic” in American culture over the last several years. (Which is what “Nip/Tuck” satirizes it seems.) What would it take for us to have whatever “issue” we have, yet celebrate our bodies just the way we are?
There is no occasion that brings up these concerns more than when a bride shops for her wedding dress (especially if she “struggles” with her body). This experience is poignantly and hilariously expressed by Susan Jane Gilman in her book, Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.
A cynical, self-declared “subversive” New Yorker who hated shopping because of her hard-to-fit figure, Susan never thought she would be wearing one of those white pouffy dresses as a bride. (Something trashy in red or black was more her speed!) But reluctantly she goes shopping and, not understanding or appreciating her body type, she looked “hideous” (her word) in the dresses she chose and was ready to give up. But thanks to a patient saleswoman who had a great eye for what looked good on a woman’s figure, Susan — now looking gorgeous dressed in the saleswoman’s choice — had what she called a “total ideological meltdown” in the middle of David’s Bridal!
“I couldn’t help it. I almost started to weep. I looked beautiful. More beautiful than I had ever seen myself look in my entire life. I looked queenly, glorious, uncompromised,” the author exclaimed. “Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body, so that she is better able to appreciate her own beauty and better equipped to withstand the ideals of our narrow-waisted, narrow-minded culture.”
(I loved reading that because in my former shop when my designers and I dressed a bride, these were the results we were after and celebrated in achieving!)
Of course some women like their bodies just fine, thank you very much! Like Sonja Herbert of Berkeley, California — a savvy, wise, and grounded woman — who is featured as a bride in the current issue of Weddings of Grace. Sonja said that everything seemed to come together with ease when she began planning her simple, elegant, reverent wedding with the exception of one “difficulty” — shopping for the dress!
“The hardest part for me was selecting the dress,” Sonja explained. “It was like the stores were putting me on a pedestal, but insulting me at the same time. They were telling me what the dress hid; selling me a dress that would solve my problems. ‘Oh, this dress makes you look skinny; this one makes you look tall.’ I finally said, ‘I’m happy with my body just the way it is!’” (Sonja participates in triathlons, so she should know!)
For the most part, wedding gown designers do indeed focus on making a woman look beautiful. If a bride has “body issues,” then the help of a “knowing” designer, alterations expert, or salesperson who understands proportion (it’s all about proportion) puts the bride in good hands. And when it all comes together, as I tell brides in my upcoming book, The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, “linger in front of the mirror and simply soak in looking and feeling feminine and luscious and gorgeous in your own eyes!”
The passage in my book continues with a reminder for all women: “You don’t have to wait for your wedding day, or stop doing it on your wedding day, or even have a wedding day to celebrate your womanliness! And no, you don’t wear a figure-shaping, goddess-inspiring, glowing white ball gown designed to show off your femininity every day, but you can celebrate you every day — body and spirit!”
So with or without some nip ‘n tuck … let’s all “celebrate the skin we’re in!”
Love. Listen. Let go.
… with love from Cornelia
Topics: Costume, For Brides, Inspiration, Remembrances, Women's Notes |
June 7th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Hello Cornelia:
I love reading your writings, and receiving the messages from them. To encourage us gals to love our bodies, as they are, is a beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing about your trip to the Book Expo, and how you are doing and where you are going or not. You have a lovely website with good energy. Like you are.
Truly,
Pam