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Rites of Girlhood
By Cornelia Powell | December 31, 2009
The lineage of women plays out in many ways during wedding celebrations. I’ve written a lot about flower girls (including my own experience as a four-year-old), sharing the tender rite-of-passage that the experience begins to unfold.
Being a flower girl for a wedding ceremony can be the first time that a little girl has a sense of her own beauty. It’s also an opportunity for others to support a little girl in recognizing her outer and inner beauty.
Having a flower girl in one’s wedding becomes a way for the bride to see her own girlhood reflected in her bridal rite-of-passage. In fact — and no matter her age or experience — a woman can sense a “loss of girlhood” as she goes through her bridal transition.
There are world cultures that still have rituals during wedding festivities where the women of the village gather with the bride-to-be and ceremoniously “mourn the loss of girlhood.” Historically, a bride is crossing the threshold from her girlhood home — and saying goodbye to her life as a girl — and crossing the threshold into her husband’s home. Like most rites-of-passage, some sadness or a sense of loss over the life changes that the particular transition brings about is only natural.
These circumstances may be a little dated in modern experiences, but the essence of change and how it affects us can be just as profound. This is why it’s important to acknowledge whatever feelings and emotions that come up during these transitional experiences in life.
What is the rite-of-passage you are moving through right now — the new threshold you are crossing? It could be a move, a big birthday, a new job or work project, becoming a new mother or grandmother, writing a book, retirement, beginning a meditation or exercise practice, taking on a healthier lifestyle, or beginning an organic garden! If you can hold the experience as a rite-of-passage — a natural progression of self-discovery — then there is a sense of flow to the process. As you move forward, you let go of where you’re moving from…and anything that doesn’t serve a life you love!
I’ve found it supportive at these times of change to tap into the voice of my girlhood and the message I hear is always something like this: “Go play! Go play at what lights you up!”
It’s always great to be reminded to focus on what I love…what lights me up. The wisdom of this simple message seems to ease the transition, no matter the threshold I’m crossing. Scholar Arnold van Gennep explains in his book The Rites of Passage: “….to cross the threshold is to unite oneself with a new world.”
So whatever “new world” you’re about to enter, what I tell brides during their rite-of-passage may be helpful to you: Listen for your quiet inner-self during these times of change…and you just may hear the loving voice of your girlhood encouraging you, reminding you to embrace the playful little girl inside you. Listening deeper, you can also hear your “wise-woman” voice guiding you to cross a threshold of your own design — inspired by your own womanly spirit.
Indeed, the dreams of a little girl claimed by a woman’s voice can grow into a full, loving and satisfying experience. So when you cross your next threshold….just go play!
Topics: Empowering Girls, For Brides, Inspiration, Relationship, Women's Notes |