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Speaking the language of ritual & relationship, folklore & costume, stillness & self-discovery... |
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Rites of Girlhood
By Cornelia Powell | December 31, 2009
The lineage of women plays out in many ways during wedding celebrations. I’ve written a lot about flower girls (including my own experience as a four-year-old), sharing the tender rite-of-passage that the experience begins to unfold.
Being a flower girl for a wedding ceremony can be the first time that a little girl has a sense of her own beauty. It’s also an opportunity for others to support a little girl in recognizing her outer and inner beauty.
Having a flower girl in one’s wedding becomes a way for the bride to see her own girlhood reflected in her bridal rite-of-passage. In fact — and no matter her age or experience — a woman can sense a “loss of girlhood” as she goes through her bridal transition.
There are world cultures that still have rituals during wedding festivities where the women of the village gather with the bride-to-be and ceremoniously “mourn the loss of girlhood.” Historically, a bride is crossing the threshold from her girlhood home — and saying goodbye to her life as a girl — and crossing the threshold into her husband’s home. Like most rites-of-passage, some sadness or a sense of loss over the life changes that the particular transition brings about is only natural.
These circumstances may be a little dated in modern experiences, but the essence of change and how it affects us can be just as profound. This is why it’s important to acknowledge whatever feelings and emotions that come up during these transitional experiences in life.
What is the rite-of-passage you are moving through right now — the new threshold you are crossing? It could be a move, a big birthday, a new job or work project, becoming a new mother or grandmother, writing a book, retirement, beginning a meditation or exercise practice, taking on a healthier lifestyle, or beginning an organic garden! If you can hold the experience as a rite-of-passage — a natural progression of self-discovery — then there is a sense of flow to the process. As you move forward, you let go of where you’re moving from…and anything that doesn’t serve a life you love!
I’ve found it supportive at these times of change to tap into the voice of my girlhood and the message I hear is always something like this: “Go play! Go play at what lights you up!”
It’s always great to be reminded to focus on what I love…what lights me up. The wisdom of this simple message seems to ease the transition, no matter the threshold I’m crossing. Scholar Arnold van Gennep explains in his book The Rites of Passage: “….to cross the threshold is to unite oneself with a new world.”
So whatever “new world” you’re about to enter, what I tell brides during their rite-of-passage may be helpful to you: Listen for your quiet inner-self during these times of change…and you just may hear the loving voice of your girlhood encouraging you, reminding you to embrace the playful little girl inside you. Listening deeper, you can also hear your “wise-woman” voice guiding you to cross a threshold of your own design — inspired by your own womanly spirit.
Indeed, the dreams of a little girl claimed by a woman’s voice can grow into a full, loving and satisfying experience. So when you cross your next threshold….just go play!
Topics: Empowering Girls, For Brides, Inspiration, Relationship, Women's Notes | No Comments »
A Bestseller & More Thank You Gifts
By Cornelia Powell | December 16, 2009
I have happy news and a “sharing request.” My new book, The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself, hit the Amazon Bestseller list the day it launched last week.
Thank you to everyone who supported the campaign….buying the book, sharing the news, sending lots of love!
However, there were several technical glitches on launch day and many people didn’t get the announcement and missed the Thank You GIFTS offer. So I’m extending the Free Gifts Special Offer for a few days.
Click here for all the details!
This extended offer lasts ’til Christmas! And remember that more couples get engaged at Christmas than at any other time — so order a few “bestsellers” and have on hand what’s been called “the perfect gift for brides of all ages and a pleasure for every woman who loves matters of the heart.”
And you don’t have to be a bride or know a bride-to-be to order this book:
· A friend in Houston wrote last week that he bought a book to give to his daughter one day — she’s a pre-teen now. (I love that — and encouraged him to give it to her now for a womanly message of self-esteem.)
· Another friend bought a copy for her mother — an 80-something year-old newlywed!
· And my dear sister Sallie in Alabama bought two copies to donate to the local public libraries in honor of our mother and father — and as a way to support young women in finding their inner and outer beauty, whether a bride-to-be or not!
I’m delighted the book is so well received! The heart-centered message of The Bride’s Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself is a wonderful way to draw attention to the more loving side of relationship and wedding planning.
Click here for more about the book and how to receive your Thank You Gifts.
Thank you, thank you to all…and thanks for sharing!
…with love from Cornelia
ps: Thanks again for spreading the word. And if you missed getting your copy last week, then here’s the perfect opportunity to order what’s now a “bestseller” AND receive Thank You Gifts to boot! Don’t delay, order TODAY so you can receive your Thank You Gifts!
pps: If you have women in your world who would benefit from a message where they discover the depth of their own heart and experience the intimacy of their bridal rite-of-passage, then please share this message! Thank you.
Topics: Announcements, Empowering Girls, For Brides, Inspiration, Relationship | No Comments »
New Book Release & Wedding Slippers
By Cornelia Powell | November 30, 2009
Please SAVE THIS DATE: December 10th — that’s my “Amazon Best Seller” campaign day. (Buy a copy from Amazon that day, you’ll receive free Thank You gifts! Here’s a reminder link.)
With its invitation to “look inside to find yourself,” The Bride’s Ritual Guide is not only an essential gift for brides of all ages, but it is also a pleasure for every woman who loves matters of the heart. (There are probably many women in your world who would love this BOOK!)
So today, to celebrate my new book’s launch, I’m sharing an excerpt here. I chose this part because the message is not just for brides, but for all women — as well as little girls!
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Wedding Slippers
Our fascination with shoes started long before designer labels or television’s “Sex and the City.” Shoes — for obvious reasons — were first created for protective covering but then evolved into status symbols (sometimes rather foreboding ones) as well as objects of beauty and sexual allure.
Shoes have played a key role in wedding history as well. Historians tell us that the symbolism of footwear in connection with luck in marriage dates back to antiquity. An old custom in China, tossing the bride’s red shoes from a roof, ensured the couple’s happiness; the ancient Inca Indians of Peru exchanged sandals to seal the marriage deal.
In many old-world countries, shoes became a harsh symbol of man’s authority over women. But more gentle footwear stories emerge in bridal history: the old custom of a Zuni bride’s fiancé lovingly handcrafting leather wedding boots for her; or generations of mothers, skilled at needlework, ornately embroidering their daughter’s delicate silk wedding slippers; or the Cinderella-like tradition from Northern Italy where all the wedding guests tried on the bride’s shoe.
With so much attention on shoes and their intriguing history, it stands to reason that the symbol for wealth, a coin, was placed in the bride’s shoe — no matter the style of this prized icon. It was originally the custom for the father to place a coin in his daughter’s shoe on her wedding day to symbolize the transfer of her wealth — her dowry — to her husband.
There are many times in history when it may have been hard for a woman to hold on to her sense of self-worth. But just imagine the first bride so confident that on her wedding day, she placed a silver coin in her shoe herself and felt she was standing in her own power and purpose!
Modern brides are blessed with being able to make their own choices on how their life will go. Reinforce those abundant blessings like this:
Look deep into your true desire and find your strength. Trust your spirit and find your purpose. Open up your heart and find your love. Then on your wedding day, you don’t have to “do” anything to express your authentic spirit, just “be” what you’ve found — strong and true and full of love.
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Don’t forget: Save The Date! December 10th is my “Amazon Best Seller Day“….thank you! CP
Topics: Announcements, For Brides, Inspiration, Relationship | No Comments »
“Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart”
By Cornelia Powell | November 25, 2009
“Gratitude is the memory of the heart,” a quote by Jean Baptiste Massieu, is one of my favorite expressions. It reminds me at those times when I’m pulled away from my center and judgmental or fearful thoughts come up, that that is not the real me. That’s just a thought and thoughts are not real. (They’re just thoughts!) “Only love is real,” Marianne Williamson, the A Course in Miracles scholar, reminds us.
If gratitude is indeed the heart’s fondest memory, and love is the heart’s truest expression — its default meter, so to speak — then my true expression can only be, “Thank you. I love you.” “I love you. Thank you.” And any other thoughts (that may lead to some emotion or reaction) are just that: something I made up, because they’re not real!
What’s real is the gratitude I have for one more moment to express love. No matter who/what/where/when — just be love. “Thank you,” my heart responds, “now that’s worth remembering!”
“Thank you. I love you.”
Topics: Empowering Girls, Inspiration, Relationship, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
I Feel Better Now!
By Cornelia Powell | November 12, 2009
Have you ever noticed that when you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, that your mind gets really noisy? I’m working on my book launch campaign for next month—there are lots of details to handle, never done it like this before, want it to be a big success, a lot riding on it, am I doing it right?—lots of “conversations” going on!
And I’m noticing that the more I “listen to” my mind’s noisy conversations, the more my “small self” starts taking over in other areas—complaining, worrying, doubting. So, I needed a wake-up call to my “Big Self” fast!
Some deep breathing helped; a quiet walk in the woods helped; but I realized that I was “resisting” being happy! And I really heard myself thinking that—yikes! How silly is that when not only could I feel what it was costing me, but I really get that’s simply why we’re all here—to be happy!
Then I read something by Esther and Jerry Hicks:
“There is no reason why Well-Being is not pouring into your experience—in precise detail in response to all the things that you have identified that you want—other than the fact that you are in a bad mood, or are angry or worried about something.”
Double yikes! One more reminder that it’s simple as that—and all up to me to make a shift! I’m in a bad mood? Cut it out—look at all I have to be grateful for! I’m angry? Let it go—look at all I have to be grateful for! I’m worried about something? Knock it off—look at all I have to be grateful for! I had just forgotten to say, with every thought: “Thank you. I love you.” “I love you. Thank you.”
Whew! I feel better. So now when I notice if I’m resisting something—like being happy, being grateful, being loving—I just let go and invite my “Big Self” to come out and play!
Topics: Inspiration, Meditation, Stillness & Relaxation | No Comments »
You Have What You Are Searching For
By Cornelia Powell | October 30, 2009
Hmmmm. Is the first approach kind of like a dog chasing its own tail? I’ve done life like that before, until the wisdom of my heart overcame the noise in my head — or a wise friend said, “hey, over here — this way!”
I’m reminded of a story I read about a rare type of deer that lives in the highest area of the Himalayas. It grows a sweet smelling musk in its navel as it develops into adulthood. As the deer matures and becomes aware of the smell, it is not, however, aware of the source of the smell, so it goes from place to place sniffing in search. The smell comes from its own navel, but being unawares, the deer goes on searching outside of itself for the appealing aroma.
I remember being moved to tears when I first read that story. How like the musk deer we human beings can be. We search for love (happiness, wisdom, recognition, completeness) in relationships or objects outside of ourselves not aware that we ourselves are the very source of that joy; that somewhere deep within us lies an infinite source of peace, love and wisdom.
For me, the thirteenth century Sufi mystic Rumi said it best: “Whatever you do, wherever you go, be in love.” Not just with people and things that are appealing and sexy and easy to love, but be in love with that part of them — and especially that part of ourselves — that feels unlovable, that just can’t seem to get it right. If love is already what you are, then there is no such thing as unlovable; there is nothing to search for; there is only something to share.
So when you get a whiff of some irresistible, sweet smelling aroma; or feel something gently pressing into your chest, filling you up like a warm inner promise; or feel your heart open, expanding you beyond measure — just breathe it in! Breathe in that fragrance, that feeling, that sensation knowing it is the love you are that was there all along and will never leave you. You already have what you are searching for … all there is to do now is share it.
[Image Courtesy of www.deerlovers.com]
Topics: Inspiration, Relationship, Women's Notes | No Comments »
The Nature of Love
By Cornelia Powell | October 27, 2009
I’ve been in Atlanta over the weekend to attend a friend’s wedding (an extra delight for me because I got to visit with special family members!) I always find that weddings are a good place to observe the nature of love. Not just with the couple about to wed, but amongst their family members and friends, the caterers, the officiates, children in the crowd — myself!
For some, wedding celebrations bring out a sweetness, becoming a “safe” place to express love and tenderness. For others, weddings are an occasion where they feel a little melancholy because of the love they missed, or the wedding is a reminder of what they’re searching for.
Speaking of searching, I also saw Jane Campion’s new film, Bright Star … the story of the three-year love affair of early 19th century poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Like the other young men of the time who became known as the Romantic Poets, Keats (who thought of his life as a failure, dying at 25 before any public recognition) searched the beauty and mystery of nature and the stirrings of his heart and soul for the words to express what he felt. Another view of the nature of love.
In our over-physical, over-mental, separate-from-our-heart kind of modern culture, it is a deep pleasure to be reminded of a time (not so long ago) where just a beautiful poetic expression of soul-full words could move the heart to love.
So perhaps with the wedding festivities and the romantic film, I was reminded of a piece I started writing several months ago and was inspired to complete it and name it. It became this month’s feature article — “You Are What You Are Searching For” — in my “Woman Becoming” newsletter that I’ll post here in a day or two. Stay tuned!
Topics: Inspiration, Relationship, Women's Notes | No Comments »
Back to the Mountains
By Cornelia Powell | October 19, 2009
I recently returned to these glorious western North Carolina mountains from an extended trip to Alabama to visit family — especially to meet my six-month-old great niece, Ina, named after my mother. Her father, my dear nephew Will, and his new beautiful family live in the old family home where I grew up. So a very special visit indeed!
As wonderful as the visit was, driving back into the October lit, high energy mountains that I now call home, was an expansive, deeply satisfying joy. As the highway twisted and turned into the mountain range nestled between the Great Smokies and the Blue Ridge, I was reminded of a poem I wrote several years ago on another bright October day. I was driving from Atlanta to Nashville for a costume society meeting and felt that heart-opening experience when I started the climb into the foothills of the Smokies, and then had a wonderful “encounter” along the way that inspired me to write down what I was feeling. I thought you’d enjoy reading the resulting poem.
NASHVILLE BOUND
Cornelia Powell
25 October 2002
Follow me to the moon, the hillbilly shamans whisper,
on my way to light a lover’s forgotten trail.
Ancient legends warned of the path’s narrow dangers,
yet the misty here ‘n now reveal
mighty remnants of the gateway to paradise.
I’ve been here before in these rolling hills of wonder,
at deep peace and pleasure,
with nothing to forgive and all to surrender.
Forever in their promise—amens are spoken, anthems heard—
the trees give back their apparel.
Familiar festooned sentries line the ridge top
disguised as giant oaks and evergreens
silhouetted from both sides of heaven.
In the valley, Appalachian hawks circle the wagons,
and lead us not into temptation.
Mist rises through sharp slices of the rain gray’d mountains
like smoke signals from gods of our father’s world.
Golden October lights herald the opening of the hallelujah trail.
Hallelujah. Hallelujah.
Riding through glory on the back of a pick-up truck.
Topics: Inspiration, Relationship, Remembrances | No Comments »
Family Storytellers
By Cornelia Powell | September 30, 2009
My brother Daniel can twist a hunting yarn like a kudzu vine around a stump, bemusing you with his smile until his tale untangles just in the nick of time. My brother Billy’s laughter throughout his storytelling hints that the conclusion is going to be some wry twist to what you might expect if more sensible folk were his subject matter. And my sister Sallie finds those “curiouser and curiouser” happenings in life and brings them to the light of day with a sense of irony and a giggle, all to the delight of her listeners.
We have wonderful family resources to draw from: grandmothers and grandfathers and great-grandfathers. These characters — some rather curmudgeon-ly, others only pretender curmudgeons, and some just a delight of nature — had a unique way of expressing themselves in the world. Some of them at times even going against the grain of society, but never without a strong sense of justice and passion and compassion.
On the “gentler” side of this storytelling legacy was my dear Gummie. Gummie was my daddy’s mother, a woman enchanted by life of the late Victorian era with its attention to detail in dressing, gardening, sentiment and beauty. When I was a little girl, Gummie told me stories—stories that conjured up beautiful images as she described in textural detail the party dresses she wore as a young woman in Mobile, Alabama. I thought the words were from some ethereal fairyland: “ashes-of-roses”, “robin’s egg blue”, “crepe de Chine”. How did my grandmother learn this magical language? Surely if I could remember such words, they would unlock a door to paradise itself, my very own “secret garden.”
Gummie’s favorite stories were those in which she caught the eye of some handsome young man. Maybe it was the startling blue of her eyes that captured his fancy; or the glimpse of her ankle as she lifted her skirt departing the train when she arrived “up the country” in Carson, Alabama; or as she sat ever so gracefully playing the piano in church. My grandmother’s words created new worlds for me to explore — worlds alive with vibrant colors and exquisite imagery.
Long before I dared to imagine that I could be a writer, I was working on advertising text for my now former shop when some Victorian sentiment reminded me of Gummie. I stopped what I was doing to write down my imaginings and just allowed the words to flow forth, amazed at how poetically they landed on the page — as if Gummie was there telling the story in her sing-song voice. I loved the image that emerged on paper, capturing an essence of her, a piece of her life recorded. I remember thinking, “Oh, so that’s why we write—to tell our stories, stories that honor our heritage and open new doors.” And, it’s more than that — it’s as though in the telling we expand and overlap into each other, like an invitation into the other’s secret garden. Storytelling puts out the welcome mat!
Topics: Relationship, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
New Dress Redux!
By Cornelia Powell | September 10, 2009
Enjoy!
Topics: Costume, Remembrances, Women's Notes | No Comments »
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